Musings in response to the Brussels bombings (March 2016)

Thoughts about the horrific terror attacks in Belgium and the hate towards muslims as a result of it all, from a Christians stand point…

A few years ago, I watched a movie. It was called ‘My Name is Khan’. It was a while back now, so my memory is foggy on the details. However, it follows a boy born with aspburgers who struggles to make sense of a complex world yet as he does he learns to understand and love and fight for a cause. It was a 9/11 movie. And although I saw a number of movies that came out a number years after that most shocking terror attack, this one I found powerful. For the first time I got a glimpse of what it might be for those living in America who just ‘look’ muslim. The main character was muslim. Yet he married a hindu girl. Sort of a romeo and Juliet fairy tale. Until white americans started hate crimes towards her  and her family and the family shoved him out for ‘his kind’ bringing this curse on his family.

The hatred was so blinding for these Americans that they couldn’t even distinguish the difference between religions. They couldn’t distinguish between regular citizens and terrorists. To them every one of those men and women with colour in their skin, was against the good and freedom of their country.

Only love should be so blind.

I’m sure you’d agree with me that these hate crimes were ugly. Maybe you are skeptical and still think that these acts would do well to teach all foreigners with all their ‘foreign’ religions to take note. You have the right to your freedom of course.

I see it differently. The state of the world is fallen. So as drastic and horrific the latest terror attacks have been in Paris and in Brussels, these should not come as a surprise. These are fallen men we are talking about. Loaded with bombs that they can attach to their chests. Maybe they feel their lives are expendable. Maybe they’ve been convinced to think that way. Or maybe, or more likely, they feel that they are serving a grander purpose – could it be vindictive against western society or culture, or a calling from their lord to serve his kingdom. Whatever the ‘cause’, the people committing the act are just that… people. Unfortunately, we as a people often believe what we already feel to be true and our ‘faith’ is determined by what we believe. It causes us to be selective

If it weren’t the radical muslim group IS causing these heinous crimes, it would be someone else. And it’s been happening for hundreds of years throughout history. Christian men and women have blood guilt too. They are not immune from the fallen state of the world.

But the way that we are viewed by God makes no sense in this context. Because like it or not, God views us just the same way that He views the terrorists in Belgium and France and 9/11. We are all a disgrace. It is in our fallen nature to sway around from God and indulging in our own pleasures.

The only cure is repentance from sins. 

Anointed/Inspired Word

Yesterday, I asked for prayer.

I'm passionate about making a change in my life right now. To be more Christ-like and Christ focused in the way I conduct myself and my thoughts in general.

So I asked for prayer. To keep being fervent for that and to be able to stand on the Solid Rock for protection from any spiritual attacks.

Usually, when I ask for prayer, I think it will just be that. Prayer. And maybe they will, maybe they won't pray for me in their own time - and that just reflects my own reliability when people ask for prayer from me.

However, this time I was given a response to my request.

Hi Dylan. I was praying for you this morning and I sensed the following to share with you. To get back into that ‘sweet spot’ where you feel close to God, where you feel effective, you will need to give more. Yes, give more of yourself. Ask God daily to use you. Ask God who you need to pray for or encourage at church on Sunday. Start looking outwardly again.

Hope this encourages you!

I'm pretty selfish and inward focused - this is probably the encouragement that I need. 

I have learned that I must prayfully consider any anointed word that is given to you. So that is exactly what I will do tonight. Of course, I totally want to see God using me everyday - practically though that is quite scary. Eek!

Key hole

Today I visited Armstrong - you know the keys and locksmiths business. It wasn't the first time either. In fact it was my third visit to the store which is found in East Tamaki. Why, I hear you asking.

Good question.

I broke a key in my garage door a while back and I had to get a new key cut, to show that I have two keys still when I hand them back to the landlord when we move out. However, three times I have gone back to Armstrong because they have cut the key incorrectly and the key does not fit.

It is so important to have the right key. In this case, it's to make my landlord happy and to open the garage door. Without the key I can't do either of those things.

The Bible is also a key. The key to life. For a while now I've been living without it. I've actually really enjoyed reading some other books in the mean time. During that time though, I've fallen away from loving God twice and struggled to come back from it. I've questioned my church. I've lied a whole lot and not had strength and courage when I've needed it.

Over the last couple of weeks, Megan and I started going back to the Bible (well Megan has actually been reading the Bible so it's only me 'going back' there) by finding our favourite verses and rediscovering why they are our favourites. It has been a lot of fun. Some verses that have come out of it are:

Proverbs 3v4-5
Phillipians 4v13
Romans 12v1-2
Jeremiah 29v11
Matthew 5v10
2 Peter 1v5 - 7

Each of them have been inspiring, uplifting and challenging.
Thank the Lord for His instruction and His Word.
I will cling to His Truth in my life time and pass it on to my children, for them to join in the Lord's Kingdom.

I am poem

I Am

I am a poser
I wonder if I will find it in me to change.
I hear too much praise and
I see too many smiles from faces willing to shake my hand
 I want to find a way out, but
I am too consumed in being a poser.

I pretend that what you see is what you get with me
I feel that's not going to last forever,
I touch others lives with good will and wise words,
But I worry, that if I don't listen to myself then God couldn't possibly use me to good effect on others
 I cry and lament my inability to open up and be free
I am a poser

I understand that to love you must have faith...
I say that faith is a cruel sacrifice for love
I dream of a day when two marred beings can have an understanding
And I try, I really try to push myself to help the other reach it
I simply hope that this will have a happy ending,
Considering right now... I'm just a poser. 

Want to be productive

I'm feeling lazy and incomplete,
I feel like a failure yet I'm standing on two feet,
I slouch on the couch, I share half facts
I like competition cos I don't like to earn hard cash.
I don't like to tell a lie, just choose not to share the truth
So don't ask questions. That'll have me shaking in my boots.
I don't ask for help - get mad if you don't believe in me.
And if your short on numbers, I won't refuse your sorry plee.
I'm treading on my toes, I'm treading on my clothes,
I am a mess, I feel tired and alone.
So wake me up, get out the hose
Clear the table, and patch up my nose -
I'm out of joint need some one on one time,
Why's it get so hectic, why do I get so out of line?
Want to be a provider, Want to be productive
Want to be professional, Want to be proactive,
So use my life, Clear me out,
Cos I surrender... Yes, I surrender Lord!

I'm sick of the internet, wish that I was blind
I've got no self-control, I'm so distracted in my mind.
I've got a million problems, but I won't deal to one,
I see the big picture, but it's easy just to have fun.
I feel dumb, and I'm confused,
So many look up to me, they compliment my views.
I'm doing well for myself but I could do better,
I'm unmotivated, and because of that I'm fed up.
So wake me up, remove all my doubt,
Clear the table, speak your words through my mouth.
I'm out of joint, need some one on one time,
Why's it get so hectic, why do I get so out of line?
Want to be a provider, want to be productive,
Want to be professional, Want to be proactive.
Don't want to procrastinate, to be a protector
I will surrender, Yes, I will surrender Lord!

Wish this got the work done, or that I could sit down for this long
When my hearts heavy, Need to express myself through song,
Glorious Lord help me to enjoy the workplace,
Your space, my place,
Asleep freestyle:
I regret not calling on your name, for the fame refrain came through to me free and I'm trying flying through space is a place in case you misssed it flip that skid kid rid of you quick on the tip of existence tripped on my misfit mother coloured red ted shed my lead poison friend lend you a sheet of A4 paper it's a caper of mysterious sorts, taut on a line of fine string bringing fantasy and harmony and played me trickery wickedly firstly cursed me churchy and lurchy merchy like a switchfoot logo, fo sho, my promo backs me up. Hard luck this is wrapped up. Mucking around is the sound I cut up, so cups up.

Medicine

 Medicine to be taking 3 times a day. Bible verses start now...

O my soul, don't be discouraged. Don't be upset. Expect God to act! For I know that I shall again have plenty of reason to praise Him for all that He will do. He is my help! He is my God! Psalm 42:11.

This should help in times of trouble.

'Dick for 16' - Courage and Courtesy

I wish I could write a compelling story about a sweet yet awkward girl on a bus, who springs revelation into the very reason I exist through a few poignant words. Maybe that will come - but not today.
I also wish I could reduce the number of 'I's in my blog - but I don't think that's going to happen today either.

You know what really cuts to the core?
When the people you love don't respect you.

I have a wonderful family, fraught with mysterious pain this past year, but apart from that are wonderful.
We clearly love each other, we don't communicate that love in a simple way, but it's there.
We want to be with each other, even though there are all these other commitments, we wish them adieu.

... STOP!!
This blog was always intended for the purposes of building up and not breaking or bringing down. It will therefore not be used to talk negatively about ones friends and family, nor talk badly about oneself out of self-pity or anger. The author, hereby, has decreed that this blog be written with the intention that if others were to read it, even though I wish they would not, they would see a transparent image of my thoughts and feelings at the present time. Although, sometimes I will become angry, this is not the medium to vent that anger, I can do that when talking alone to God. This blog therefore strives on the back end of awkward/confusing/frustrating/scary events and/or positive encounters/revelations. The only intent of a negative experience to be shared would be to reveal the positive growth from that experience. Any demeaning or self-hating comments will not be tolerated. Sign here: ____________

That ruined the flow haha. Anyways I will have to try a new tact. Thank you conscience.

I had a dream two nights ago, that my parents showed that they were disappointed in me. Kind of like they disrespected me and thought me to be a lesser man. They even called me a 'dick for 16' which is outrageous since I am 21, and if I'm a dick for 16 I must be something far far worse for 21.

I woke up weeping. I'd had a hard week, so I was already at my emotional threshold and this just threw me over the edge.

Even in my crying, I knew that my parents loved me (actually) and that they were somewhat proud of me... but to what extent I didn't know.
I've got this thing with dreams. They hold a lot of weight for me, so I replay interesting ones in my mind and try to find a hidden message.
This one however, didn't really take too much digging to see the message, yet the real hard thing was thinking of a way to respond.

And here I am, almost 2 days later, and I haven't quite responded how I would have hoped. A few things have come up in the mean time.
I have learnt that I lack courage - courageous conversation, I believe, is an important character trait to acquire in order to become a well respected teacher (one of thing big reasons I hold this view is because Chris Hall said so). Courageous conversation will also lead me to ask my parents if they are proud of me. It will also help me to ask them for serious advice on my future career endeavours and the possibility of getting married in the not too distant future. I want to even be able to discuss whether it is worth talking seriously about yet at all - this all takes courage. Courageous converstaion would also help me to be perfectly honest with Megan about my feelings, if there is anything that I am offended by, or strongly believe in. Courage would help me walk to the front of church and admit that I need prayer for physical and spiritual renewal.
Courage would help me stand firm in the faith and not waiver or compromise on my beliefs.

Sometimes when I consider courage, I start to think it's the antonym for courtesy. I've listed a whole lot of things above which I'd love to be able to do, but then... It's almost like my 'need' to please others overrules any other need I may have (this makes me very passive in nature). It's like I treat 'courtesy' as the key way in which God calls us to love Him and love one another. But it's definitely not. WOW, I just realised that.

LORD,
I told you last night that I don't want to talk to my parents, I would far rather have them read my mind and come to talk to me, apologise, and tell me how wonderful I am. But today, You have turned things around for me. I realise that things don't always fall in my lap like I hope and somethings require courage to pursue. I don't want to unnessarily create conflict Lord but I'd love to be able to confront in the hope that others would benefit and both theirs and my burdens be lifted in relationship.
Thank you Lord for answering prayer,
Amen.