I'm feeling lazy and incomplete,
I feel like a failure yet I'm standing on two feet,
I slouch on the couch, I share half facts
I like competition cos I don't like to earn hard cash.
I don't like to tell a lie, just choose not to share the truth
So don't ask questions. That'll have me shaking in my boots.
I don't ask for help - get mad if you don't believe in me.
And if your short on numbers, I won't refuse your sorry plee.
I'm treading on my toes, I'm treading on my clothes,
I am a mess, I feel tired and alone.
So wake me up, get out the hose
Clear the table, and patch up my nose -
I'm out of joint need some one on one time,
Why's it get so hectic, why do I get so out of line?
Want to be a provider, Want to be productive
Want to be professional, Want to be proactive,
So use my life, Clear me out,
Cos I surrender... Yes, I surrender Lord!
I'm sick of the internet, wish that I was blind
I've got no self-control, I'm so distracted in my mind.
I've got a million problems, but I won't deal to one,
I see the big picture, but it's easy just to have fun.
I feel dumb, and I'm confused,
So many look up to me, they compliment my views.
I'm doing well for myself but I could do better,
I'm unmotivated, and because of that I'm fed up.
So wake me up, remove all my doubt,
Clear the table, speak your words through my mouth.
I'm out of joint, need some one on one time,
Why's it get so hectic, why do I get so out of line?
Want to be a provider, want to be productive,
Want to be professional, Want to be proactive.
Don't want to procrastinate, to be a protector
I will surrender, Yes, I will surrender Lord!
Wish this got the work done, or that I could sit down for this long
When my hearts heavy, Need to express myself through song,
Glorious Lord help me to enjoy the workplace,
Your space, my place,
Asleep freestyle:
I regret not calling on your name, for the fame refrain came through to me free and I'm trying flying through space is a place in case you misssed it flip that skid kid rid of you quick on the tip of existence tripped on my misfit mother coloured red ted shed my lead poison friend lend you a sheet of A4 paper it's a caper of mysterious sorts, taut on a line of fine string bringing fantasy and harmony and played me trickery wickedly firstly cursed me churchy and lurchy merchy like a switchfoot logo, fo sho, my promo backs me up. Hard luck this is wrapped up. Mucking around is the sound I cut up, so cups up.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Medicine
Medicine to be taking 3 times a day. Bible verses start now...
O my soul, don't be discouraged. Don't be upset. Expect God to act! For I know that I shall again have plenty of reason to praise Him for all that He will do. He is my help! He is my God! Psalm 42:11.
This should help in times of trouble.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
'Dick for 16' - Courage and Courtesy
I wish I could write a compelling story about a sweet yet awkward girl on a bus, who springs revelation into the very reason I exist through a few poignant words. Maybe that will come - but not today.
I also wish I could reduce the number of 'I's in my blog - but I don't think that's going to happen today either.
You know what really cuts to the core?
When the people you love don't respect you.
I have a wonderful family, fraught with mysterious pain this past year, but apart from that are wonderful.
We clearly love each other, we don't communicate that love in a simple way, but it's there.
We want to be with each other, even though there are all these other commitments, we wish them adieu.
... STOP!!
This blog was always intended for the purposes of building up and not breaking or bringing down. It will therefore not be used to talk negatively about ones friends and family, nor talk badly about oneself out of self-pity or anger. The author, hereby, has decreed that this blog be written with the intention that if others were to read it, even though I wish they would not, they would see a transparent image of my thoughts and feelings at the present time. Although, sometimes I will become angry, this is not the medium to vent that anger, I can do that when talking alone to God. This blog therefore strives on the back end of awkward/confusing/frustrating/scary events and/or positive encounters/revelations. The only intent of a negative experience to be shared would be to reveal the positive growth from that experience. Any demeaning or self-hating comments will not be tolerated. Sign here: ____________
That ruined the flow haha. Anyways I will have to try a new tact. Thank you conscience.
I had a dream two nights ago, that my parents showed that they were disappointed in me. Kind of like they disrespected me and thought me to be a lesser man. They even called me a 'dick for 16' which is outrageous since I am 21, and if I'm a dick for 16 I must be something far far worse for 21.
I woke up weeping. I'd had a hard week, so I was already at my emotional threshold and this just threw me over the edge.
Even in my crying, I knew that my parents loved me (actually) and that they were somewhat proud of me... but to what extent I didn't know.
I've got this thing with dreams. They hold a lot of weight for me, so I replay interesting ones in my mind and try to find a hidden message.
This one however, didn't really take too much digging to see the message, yet the real hard thing was thinking of a way to respond.
And here I am, almost 2 days later, and I haven't quite responded how I would have hoped. A few things have come up in the mean time.
I have learnt that I lack courage - courageous conversation, I believe, is an important character trait to acquire in order to become a well respected teacher (one of thing big reasons I hold this view is because Chris Hall said so). Courageous conversation will also lead me to ask my parents if they are proud of me. It will also help me to ask them for serious advice on my future career endeavours and the possibility of getting married in the not too distant future. I want to even be able to discuss whether it is worth talking seriously about yet at all - this all takes courage. Courageous converstaion would also help me to be perfectly honest with Megan about my feelings, if there is anything that I am offended by, or strongly believe in. Courage would help me walk to the front of church and admit that I need prayer for physical and spiritual renewal.
Courage would help me stand firm in the faith and not waiver or compromise on my beliefs.
Sometimes when I consider courage, I start to think it's the antonym for courtesy. I've listed a whole lot of things above which I'd love to be able to do, but then... It's almost like my 'need' to please others overrules any other need I may have (this makes me very passive in nature). It's like I treat 'courtesy' as the key way in which God calls us to love Him and love one another. But it's definitely not. WOW, I just realised that.
LORD,
I told you last night that I don't want to talk to my parents, I would far rather have them read my mind and come to talk to me, apologise, and tell me how wonderful I am. But today, You have turned things around for me. I realise that things don't always fall in my lap like I hope and somethings require courage to pursue. I don't want to unnessarily create conflict Lord but I'd love to be able to confront in the hope that others would benefit and both theirs and my burdens be lifted in relationship.
Thank you Lord for answering prayer,
Amen.
I also wish I could reduce the number of 'I's in my blog - but I don't think that's going to happen today either.
You know what really cuts to the core?
When the people you love don't respect you.
I have a wonderful family, fraught with mysterious pain this past year, but apart from that are wonderful.
We clearly love each other, we don't communicate that love in a simple way, but it's there.
We want to be with each other, even though there are all these other commitments, we wish them adieu.
... STOP!!
This blog was always intended for the purposes of building up and not breaking or bringing down. It will therefore not be used to talk negatively about ones friends and family, nor talk badly about oneself out of self-pity or anger. The author, hereby, has decreed that this blog be written with the intention that if others were to read it, even though I wish they would not, they would see a transparent image of my thoughts and feelings at the present time. Although, sometimes I will become angry, this is not the medium to vent that anger, I can do that when talking alone to God. This blog therefore strives on the back end of awkward/confusing/frustrating/scary events and/or positive encounters/revelations. The only intent of a negative experience to be shared would be to reveal the positive growth from that experience. Any demeaning or self-hating comments will not be tolerated. Sign here: ____________
That ruined the flow haha. Anyways I will have to try a new tact. Thank you conscience.
I had a dream two nights ago, that my parents showed that they were disappointed in me. Kind of like they disrespected me and thought me to be a lesser man. They even called me a 'dick for 16' which is outrageous since I am 21, and if I'm a dick for 16 I must be something far far worse for 21.
I woke up weeping. I'd had a hard week, so I was already at my emotional threshold and this just threw me over the edge.
Even in my crying, I knew that my parents loved me (actually) and that they were somewhat proud of me... but to what extent I didn't know.
I've got this thing with dreams. They hold a lot of weight for me, so I replay interesting ones in my mind and try to find a hidden message.
This one however, didn't really take too much digging to see the message, yet the real hard thing was thinking of a way to respond.
And here I am, almost 2 days later, and I haven't quite responded how I would have hoped. A few things have come up in the mean time.
I have learnt that I lack courage - courageous conversation, I believe, is an important character trait to acquire in order to become a well respected teacher (one of thing big reasons I hold this view is because Chris Hall said so). Courageous conversation will also lead me to ask my parents if they are proud of me. It will also help me to ask them for serious advice on my future career endeavours and the possibility of getting married in the not too distant future. I want to even be able to discuss whether it is worth talking seriously about yet at all - this all takes courage. Courageous converstaion would also help me to be perfectly honest with Megan about my feelings, if there is anything that I am offended by, or strongly believe in. Courage would help me walk to the front of church and admit that I need prayer for physical and spiritual renewal.
Courage would help me stand firm in the faith and not waiver or compromise on my beliefs.
Sometimes when I consider courage, I start to think it's the antonym for courtesy. I've listed a whole lot of things above which I'd love to be able to do, but then... It's almost like my 'need' to please others overrules any other need I may have (this makes me very passive in nature). It's like I treat 'courtesy' as the key way in which God calls us to love Him and love one another. But it's definitely not. WOW, I just realised that.
LORD,
I told you last night that I don't want to talk to my parents, I would far rather have them read my mind and come to talk to me, apologise, and tell me how wonderful I am. But today, You have turned things around for me. I realise that things don't always fall in my lap like I hope and somethings require courage to pursue. I don't want to unnessarily create conflict Lord but I'd love to be able to confront in the hope that others would benefit and both theirs and my burdens be lifted in relationship.
Thank you Lord for answering prayer,
Amen.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Soccer Temper
RrrrrEEEEEEFFFFF, He's been doing it all day REF!!!
A team mate of mine got a red card yesterday. He got overly 'passionate' and although I couldn't see a thing, apparently he gave the keeper two solid punches after his efforts in the goal box were cut short. I had no sympathy, no care for my team mate - I believe he will, along with a humiliating walk of shame, be fined maybe 50, maybe 100 dollars.
His actions could have cost us dearly.
The scores at that stage of the game (approximately 80mins) were all level,
3 - 3.
But even that thought, played little in getting me worked up, and temper filled on Saturday.
Let me explain:
This is my first season back after a couple of years break of competitive soccer.
It was my chance to get into a good team, with a few guys that I knew and maybe having the chance of getting my older brother involved too.
Turns out however, that work commitments landed on unfavourable days, deeming me absent for all trials and a relegation to the second team - which wasn't such a bad thing when I took account of the fact that I was still going to be in the same team as my brother.
The season draws near,
I get a txt from a stranger to say there was a game coming up 'this Sunday',
it was a friendly
they were oldAnd to cut a long story short, I earned an ankle injury after a shotty tackle from a heavy old man.
Now, 3 and half months later, I'm starting to get back into the game.
It was my second game back yesterday.
I was so excited, I made sure I went out and bought some new boots and shin guards.
I had invited my parents and my girlfriend along.
This was my big break.
We started warming up,
It soon became clear that I was not an opener... fair enough... If I was coach I wouldn't open with me either.
Scoring looked good immediately, 2 goals in the first ten minutes,
a voice at the back of my head - my coach
'if we're well ahead, we'll get you on there!'
I smile.
The game continues, the half draws near,
I haven't been called upon (there's been no injuries on the field obviously) and I watch as the opposition responds, 2 shots in the back of the net.
The half time whistle blows, a sweet melody to my ears,
my swan song,
team talk - didn't hear much bar this:
'OK, only changes, Ashtad your moving to left mid...................
WHAT???!!! I stand there stunned.
'Dylan'
'Yeah?'
'You'll come on in 10 minutes for about... 10 minutes'
'Yeah, OK, mean!'
Not OK, not mean, what do you mean? 10 minutes? Really? I'm fit!! ohhhh.
I look back, look Megan straight in the eyes, her response mirrors mine,
I love her.
I can't wait for 10 minutes to be over, the whistle starts us back up and Caleb's doing well, Liam gets on too and he's playing well. Ben gets injured, he hasn't been around long, but he's a GOOD player - Tom goes on to replace him, fair enough.
I warm up, I give it an excessively long time,
I'm a jumping jack rabbit,
come on already.
I'M.... ON!
Then I run up and down a bit without getting the ball.
Then... keeper has it, I call, he kicks, it comes to me, right on my foot,
I'm free to run, two men in front of me, both loosely marked,
I'm so free to run, but I've held the ball to long? surely, ahh this isn't my usual position!
Oh,
panicked. I skyed it from a long way out.
Mistake, but back in the game.
My coach is yelling at me, giving me orders and more orders,
I pay attention, do exactly what he says,
I want him to like me, want him to notice any skill,
I want to impress him.
I do all I can -
and then he sends me off.
BOOOO!
'Great game' I hear from the sideline,
it's a nice sentiment, but not what I've come for, not what I payed for, not what I came expecting.
I was a right sack of sadness after that,
here are the thoughts:
Stupid injury,
stupid brother and his coolness and his respect,
stupid boots that cost me for 10 minutes,
stupid shot at goal,
stupid amount of players in our team.
I got home and I cried, I mourned about a flipping soccer match.
It hurt to the core,
and there were several reasons.
I mourned at my own self-pity and mourned even more when I realised it.
I mourned of my jealousy towards my brother and others
I mourned of my disloyalty to the soccer team, and
I mourned of not getting any game time - I just wanted to enjoy myself.
So no wonder I didn't care about my team mates red card.
My temper wasn't outward on the field like it has been in the past,
but it was sure boiling up inside me.
Dear Lord,
yesterdays game brought out the worst in me. I was selfish and jealous and conceited. Lord, that experience was so humbling but I couldn't handle it. Lord, help me to grow up, become a mature man, teach me to be happy for those who can accomplish far more than I, even when given the same resources and time. Please stop me from playing 'what if?' and questioning your use of the past. Help me to move on and live life for now with no regrets. Use me Lord as your servant, where my focus isn't on myself but instead on You and all of those that I am serving. Let me be mercy and justice to others like you have indeed been for me. I know I need it after such a time as this.
In your Holy Name,
Amen.
A team mate of mine got a red card yesterday. He got overly 'passionate' and although I couldn't see a thing, apparently he gave the keeper two solid punches after his efforts in the goal box were cut short. I had no sympathy, no care for my team mate - I believe he will, along with a humiliating walk of shame, be fined maybe 50, maybe 100 dollars.
His actions could have cost us dearly.
The scores at that stage of the game (approximately 80mins) were all level,
3 - 3.
But even that thought, played little in getting me worked up, and temper filled on Saturday.
Let me explain:
This is my first season back after a couple of years break of competitive soccer.
It was my chance to get into a good team, with a few guys that I knew and maybe having the chance of getting my older brother involved too.
Turns out however, that work commitments landed on unfavourable days, deeming me absent for all trials and a relegation to the second team - which wasn't such a bad thing when I took account of the fact that I was still going to be in the same team as my brother.
The season draws near,
I get a txt from a stranger to say there was a game coming up 'this Sunday',
it was a friendly
they were oldAnd to cut a long story short, I earned an ankle injury after a shotty tackle from a heavy old man.
Now, 3 and half months later, I'm starting to get back into the game.
It was my second game back yesterday.
I was so excited, I made sure I went out and bought some new boots and shin guards.
I had invited my parents and my girlfriend along.
This was my big break.
We started warming up,
It soon became clear that I was not an opener... fair enough... If I was coach I wouldn't open with me either.
Scoring looked good immediately, 2 goals in the first ten minutes,
a voice at the back of my head - my coach
'if we're well ahead, we'll get you on there!'
I smile.
The game continues, the half draws near,
I haven't been called upon (there's been no injuries on the field obviously) and I watch as the opposition responds, 2 shots in the back of the net.
The half time whistle blows, a sweet melody to my ears,
my swan song,
team talk - didn't hear much bar this:
'OK, only changes, Ashtad your moving to left mid...................
WHAT???!!! I stand there stunned.
'Dylan'
'Yeah?'
'You'll come on in 10 minutes for about... 10 minutes'
'Yeah, OK, mean!'
Not OK, not mean, what do you mean? 10 minutes? Really? I'm fit!! ohhhh.
I look back, look Megan straight in the eyes, her response mirrors mine,
I love her.
I can't wait for 10 minutes to be over, the whistle starts us back up and Caleb's doing well, Liam gets on too and he's playing well. Ben gets injured, he hasn't been around long, but he's a GOOD player - Tom goes on to replace him, fair enough.
I warm up, I give it an excessively long time,
I'm a jumping jack rabbit,
come on already.
I'M.... ON!
Then I run up and down a bit without getting the ball.
Then... keeper has it, I call, he kicks, it comes to me, right on my foot,
I'm free to run, two men in front of me, both loosely marked,
I'm so free to run, but I've held the ball to long? surely, ahh this isn't my usual position!
Oh,
panicked. I skyed it from a long way out.
Mistake, but back in the game.
My coach is yelling at me, giving me orders and more orders,
I pay attention, do exactly what he says,
I want him to like me, want him to notice any skill,
I want to impress him.
I do all I can -
and then he sends me off.
BOOOO!
'Great game' I hear from the sideline,
it's a nice sentiment, but not what I've come for, not what I payed for, not what I came expecting.
I was a right sack of sadness after that,
here are the thoughts:
Stupid injury,
stupid brother and his coolness and his respect,
stupid boots that cost me for 10 minutes,
stupid shot at goal,
stupid amount of players in our team.
I got home and I cried, I mourned about a flipping soccer match.
It hurt to the core,
and there were several reasons.
I mourned at my own self-pity and mourned even more when I realised it.
I mourned of my jealousy towards my brother and others
I mourned of my disloyalty to the soccer team, and
I mourned of not getting any game time - I just wanted to enjoy myself.
So no wonder I didn't care about my team mates red card.
My temper wasn't outward on the field like it has been in the past,
but it was sure boiling up inside me.
Dear Lord,
yesterdays game brought out the worst in me. I was selfish and jealous and conceited. Lord, that experience was so humbling but I couldn't handle it. Lord, help me to grow up, become a mature man, teach me to be happy for those who can accomplish far more than I, even when given the same resources and time. Please stop me from playing 'what if?' and questioning your use of the past. Help me to move on and live life for now with no regrets. Use me Lord as your servant, where my focus isn't on myself but instead on You and all of those that I am serving. Let me be mercy and justice to others like you have indeed been for me. I know I need it after such a time as this.
In your Holy Name,
Amen.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Verse of the day
Matthew 28:17 (The Message)
16-17Meanwhile, the eleven disciples were on their way to Galilee, headed for the mountain Jesus had set for their reunion. The moment they saw him they worshiped him. Some, though, held back, not sure about worship, about risking themselves totally.
This verse stood out to me.
I don't think I've ever read this passage quite like this before.
In my Bible the word worship was italicized as above.
Eugene H. Peterson, the writer of The Message bible, was obviously inspired by this passage.
To him it defines the word worship.
Worship - risking ourselves totally.
What risk do I face today and tomorrow?
Nothing if I don't worship wholeheartedly I suppose.
But really what would be the risk in it?
I wonder which one of the two people I am -
The instant worshipper
or
the careful and content viewer.
This passage is also greatly proves Jesus' point from earlier.
When asked for a sign in which the people would automatically believe, Jesus said it would be a waste of time - they would still not believe.
Turns out He was right....
There He is, standing in front of them, days after his brutal death on the cross.
God is standing in front of them.
The Lion... and the Lamb.
Yet they choose to NOT worship in fear of risking what?
What could be worse than denying our Lord praise?
Thank you Lord for a great Easter period.
Although my mind and heart are weak and hard, you continue to use me and even teach me.
I pray for your forgiveness and your renewed strength.
Please fill my cup as I drink of Yours.
God bless you all this Easter!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Humbled
Teaching is such a humbling experience.
So to are the disastrous effects of the latest earthquake in Christchurch.
At time like these you realise how small you are.
As my home group leader Chris repeated again recently:
'As humans, we like to think we're at the top of the food chain.
We are quite magnificently not.
We're at one level and God... He's sitting way above that.'
God is the only one who can create, and capture/ take away.
This earthquake has shook me a bit, not nearly as it has in Christchurch. But I have a weakness for being unemotional in distressful times (that goes against my personality). But the sheer closeness of this event and the repitition of it has blown me away and had me questioning.
I have fervent hope that God will work His mighty hand on that region!
Yesterday I had some girls face their whole class while I interviewed them about their Dads involvement in helping out those in Christchurch. I had an idea where I could take the discussion, but these girls were so articulate it surprised me. It inspired and encouraged me and hopefully the class. It was a humbling experience - to be honest it was supposed to be that way - but it was even more humbling than I expected.
See just like the earthquake, I'm realising with teaching that sometimes things just don't turn out the way you hoped or expected. Every day I'm faced with small challenges to get students on my side so they will concentrate, listen and learn. [SIDE NOTE: I'm a peaceful playful person, so I like making friends with charm and hoping they will take my side - but some students just don't like you, and that's fair]. Sometimes the students are better than me, and other times lessons just go miserably.
To be humbled doesn't mean to be flattened completely though does it.
Because I don't feel like that.
I just know that I am weak through these humbling experiences and God must be so much more, to never assume such weakness.
I thank God that He is so much more powerful than me and anyone.
Psalm 46:
1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
8 Come and see what the LORD has done,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Amen.
So to are the disastrous effects of the latest earthquake in Christchurch.
At time like these you realise how small you are.
As my home group leader Chris repeated again recently:
'As humans, we like to think we're at the top of the food chain.
We are quite magnificently not.
We're at one level and God... He's sitting way above that.'
God is the only one who can create, and capture/ take away.
This earthquake has shook me a bit, not nearly as it has in Christchurch. But I have a weakness for being unemotional in distressful times (that goes against my personality). But the sheer closeness of this event and the repitition of it has blown me away and had me questioning.
I have fervent hope that God will work His mighty hand on that region!
Yesterday I had some girls face their whole class while I interviewed them about their Dads involvement in helping out those in Christchurch. I had an idea where I could take the discussion, but these girls were so articulate it surprised me. It inspired and encouraged me and hopefully the class. It was a humbling experience - to be honest it was supposed to be that way - but it was even more humbling than I expected.
See just like the earthquake, I'm realising with teaching that sometimes things just don't turn out the way you hoped or expected. Every day I'm faced with small challenges to get students on my side so they will concentrate, listen and learn. [SIDE NOTE: I'm a peaceful playful person, so I like making friends with charm and hoping they will take my side - but some students just don't like you, and that's fair]. Sometimes the students are better than me, and other times lessons just go miserably.
To be humbled doesn't mean to be flattened completely though does it.
Because I don't feel like that.
I just know that I am weak through these humbling experiences and God must be so much more, to never assume such weakness.
I thank God that He is so much more powerful than me and anyone.
Psalm 46:
1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
8 Come and see what the LORD has done,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Amen.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Saved conversations with good friends: Part 3
your rhyme divides time, in rewind they're blind lines of divine signs confined to a lifetime to shine and where others whine yours all align.
17:57
That's a sweet rhyme, Rhyme master Dan
Did you just coin that little phrase, right here and now
18:00
sure did
18:02
freestylings what your made for man, why are you packing boxes again and again. I haven't seen a black man spit lyrics quicker than your lips like you’re sick with magnetic oil in your system
18:04
You just get slicker and slicker, even quicker than my sister whens she onto her liquor.
18:04
and Flippen her off wouldn't even matter then, When we get in the minivan we'll make orangutans sound like a electric toothbrush or a moth
Omgoodness, I just started writing and those words came to my head, should have fed my head, with a more eloquent thread. Mum said, that dirt wouldn't taste so good, and look where it's got me, I should have listened to her I should
18:11
If I show you the finger, let it linger, just enough to sting ya, do you think ya could fight back and hit me like whitney, her cocaine and a rolled up 50?
18:21
I'd slide to 85 when she made her first album, they say I'm from the same fountain, when they found me they were astounded. Sounds like I'd take your rhyme for a ride, but I'm a gracious sort... and for that I'll be glorified
You'll be found dead in the middle of little italy and little did we know you didn't you diddly SQUAT
18:26
Atleast it's not little Siccily, where you'll find your body rot
17:57
That's a sweet rhyme, Rhyme master Dan
Did you just coin that little phrase, right here and now
18:00
sure did
18:02
freestylings what your made for man, why are you packing boxes again and again. I haven't seen a black man spit lyrics quicker than your lips like you’re sick with magnetic oil in your system
18:04
You just get slicker and slicker, even quicker than my sister whens she onto her liquor.
18:04
and Flippen her off wouldn't even matter then, When we get in the minivan we'll make orangutans sound like a electric toothbrush or a moth
Omgoodness, I just started writing and those words came to my head, should have fed my head, with a more eloquent thread. Mum said, that dirt wouldn't taste so good, and look where it's got me, I should have listened to her I should
18:11
If I show you the finger, let it linger, just enough to sting ya, do you think ya could fight back and hit me like whitney, her cocaine and a rolled up 50?
18:21
I'd slide to 85 when she made her first album, they say I'm from the same fountain, when they found me they were astounded. Sounds like I'd take your rhyme for a ride, but I'm a gracious sort... and for that I'll be glorified
You'll be found dead in the middle of little italy and little did we know you didn't you diddly SQUAT
18:26
Atleast it's not little Siccily, where you'll find your body rot
Saved conversations with good friends: Part 2
08:08Dylan
hey man, i really like your poem. I want to work with you a bit more on it tho, to make it easier to hear as spoken word poetry
08:10Andrew
retry?
08:11Dylan
yeah that one
08:11Andrew
cheers
08:12Dylan
hey whats your email?
is it still hotmail?
08:13Andrew
andrewmackereth@gmail.com
08:13Dylan
sweet
i knew you'd have a cooler email address by now. You should update it on facebook
08:14Andrew
oh true
08:15Dylan
sent you an email
08:15Andrew
cool man
remember to check out my blog
08:15Dylan
far out man, my whole internet visit is just for you!!!
08:17Andrew
haha
sorry i lost you for a second there because i was changing my settings
08:19Dylan
what how did you lose me?
did you go off line?
i didn't notice, i was T X T ing
08:20Andrew
apparently
cool bro
08:21Dylan
lol sorry man. Oh and I'm just reading your blog now so give me some time
08:22Andrew
okay man
08:35Dylan
okay just read it I will write a reply shortly. Does Megan read your blog? ANd can you txt that verse to me again, it didn't actually come through properly
09:00Andrew
sorry man just had a shower
i gave her the drawing i did last night with the address written down the bottom
09:01Dylan
oh man, i'm glad you apologised
haha smooth mate
09:01Andrew
yeah. i didn't tell anyone about my blog at first.
but i
now want people to read it
09:04Dylan
fully man, i put a comment on Jody
09:04Andrew
yeah i just read it
thanks bro
i told zac and jon about it
09:06Dylan
good man
09:08Andrew
yeah
it is more coherent when written down though
09:11Dylan
yeah true, but you could even print that out and read it aye
09:14Andrew
yeah i could do
might share it with the youth one week
09:15Dylan
that would be a good idea. I can tell it's very real to you as well, your not just putting it on to make some good literature.
You feel you focus on yourself far too much, and you're getting at that again in this... i don't know, it's just cool
09:16Andrew
it was important to me that it was written for maximum effect
but yeah it is me struggling with that same thing again and trying to articulate it
because it was a very challenging experience for me. and i wanted to preserve it.
i wanted other people to understand what i meant when they read it rather than just reading it and thinking it was another one of my 'cool stories'.
09:21Dylan
its sounds like you handled it quite well. Or atleast you didn't have much of a chance too, this girl sounds awesomely in your face
09:22Andrew
haha yeah that chance was taken away from me
09:22Dylan
very funny
09:23Andrew
i loved it. God was pretty insistent that i talk to her.
09:23Dylan
Hey, just a random question about last night... were able to read along with the rap well enough last night... like both of them
09:23Andrew
yeah it was up on the screen and fairly easy to read
it was cool
i'd quite like a copy of the lyrics
i tried writing some urban poetry before and failed
09:27Dylan
Well that's good to hear you could read it... cos Wade who was on the computer said it was hard, and he was the one changing the slides, and he'd never heard the song before.
And Matt Payne just txt me saying that he couldn't keep up with me lol
Yeah i'll get the lyrics out to you if you want... I'll have to find the copywrite thing on character maps
09:28Andrew
oh don't worry bro i'll take care of that.
i'd just twink it out if you put it on
09:30Dylan
haha how can you do that on the cyber copy... i actually won't send it to you now aye
09:30Andrew
that's fair.
09:31Dylan
na i'll send you all the stuff I have written down... not the first song i did last night.... I'll probs post that up on youtube instead.
oh actually i don't have my flashdisk with me right at the minute so I'll have to do that another time
09:32Andrew
you'll get like 2 billion hits and youtube will break down
09:32Dylan
yeah i really doubt that huh
but thanks for the false hoope
i can give you the words to shadows as well
09:34Andrew
awesome
mymusical taste is so far expanded from what it used to be
09:35Dylan
cha-HOO
09:35Andrew
i can listen to mr dyligence and to the devil wears prada in the same day
and enjoy both immensely
09:35Dylan
You know from when I spoke at church earlier this year, my view on hip-hop has changed SOOO much
lol you're crack up
09:36Andrew
thanks bro
how so? has your view changed?
for the better
i remember talking to you at the beginning of the year
09:41Dylan
Cos as you may know, i originally got hooked into hip hop in about 2007, and was listening to Flava and Mai like most of 2008 right. So when we went to Fiji, that's what i was into, and I was singing it with Jimmy over there. And I felt after the trip that I hadn't been a very good influence to Jimmy. I kind of assumed he would be at a good place with God, and that singing those songs, it was just like me... they don't mean much. But then you remember we had the convo with him about hot celebs and so on. I guess after listening to that stuff, it was like garbage in - garbage out. I listen to lyrics...
incredibly, so even tho i thought the music wasn't affecting me, it was.
09:45Dylan
Anyways, this year I overted back to Life FM, and I've left the secular hip-hop behind me. But when Phil introduced me to all these christian rap artists I saw a new side of it... a side of rap that could be uplifting, empowering and thought-provoking. And I guess that's why I've got to where I am, getting passionate about this music. Cos I still love the genre, I love to dance to a beat you know, but I also love our Lord, and the message of hope, grace and love that He gives. This is the best way I can express it at this point in my life!!
09:45Andrew
amen
i'm glad you've come to this point man
09:47Dylan
Me too.
I didn't think things were going badly with God 2008, but man I've grown alot since then aye
09:47Andrew
you've grown amazingly this year and it has been cool to see it
09:48Dylan
It hasn't all been uphill tho, I'm still as weak as ever, but you know I'm glad I have these songs and have them with me forever... because I'm sure they will remind me when i'm falling away to turn back to Jesus' face.
09:50Dylan
You've grown into a mighty river as well mate. It's crazy, I guess this is what happens when you leave school behind and you slowly meet the real world. You assume your position in life, you decide who you want to be
09:50Andrew
na of course it isn't all uphill
rivers don't flow uphill easily
you have to work at it
09:51Dylan
rivers don't flow uphill easily - andrew is clever
09:51Andrew
but your sons should help
songs bro
09:51Dylan
LOL, i was like WHAT??!!
bro I'm saving this convo, i hope that's alright
09:53Andrew
funny how much you grow when you realise you can't do it yourself
i think being brutally honest with people (and with God) about myself has helped a lot
getting me to do that is kinda like making a river flow uphill
it is against my natural inclination
but God's spirit flows uphill
09:56Andrew
i'm going to take and use that by the way
09:56Dylan
it's kind of like what Mark was talking about, those times when God speaks to you that you need to take a risk... when it goes against everything that you've been working to create for yourself.
Absolutely man, I'm glad i called you a river
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)